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Sunday, 1 February 2015

Finding the way back to Me

I remember when I first started writing this blog, I had no experience of blogging, and I had little experience in spirituality as taught by the books the grace our shelves today. Many of these books I've read, many are still waiting to be read, and some I've mentioned here in my reviews. But one consistent theme over these years has been my connection, faith and belief in Angels.

Yet, in the past 18 months, I grew tired of being seen as just a book reviewer, and I grew almost ill whenever I thought about coaching and spirituality. It was like an addiction that was suffocating me by threatening to take over my life, and take over me. It came to the point where I didn't know who I was anymore. There was only one thing I could do.

I had to go cold turkey. It was all or nothing, and it needed to become nothing. So I turned my back, deleted emails, switched off my blog, packed hundreds of books and Oracle cards away, and unliked/unfollowed pages on Facebook that had become sources of my addiction.

I know someone reading this will think that it's not an addiction, it's a way of life, but for me it was sucking the life out of me, and unlike Twilight, it was not sparkly. It was ugly.

Over those cold turkey months I've transformed into someone that I really enjoy spending time with (sometimes) and I've found that I'm doing more in my life now, and I feel normal. I feel grounded. I have learnt crochet which is something that I do every day now, it's MY little escape sanctuary,  and I read chick lit books which I review on a chick lit blog ~ A Page of Fictional Love, and I've made so many beautiful friends who are fun, caring, encouraging and super awesome people that I'm so grateful to have in my life. Chick lit has given me my life back.

Yet...there's something missing.

My.connection to the angels, my use of crystals to enhance my energy. And my study of spiritual philosophy. I have long been a student of kabbalah, and it is something that I don't need to necessarily work at fitting in practice because it just is a way of life for me. But I'd like to dedicate more time to learning more about it. I also miss my meditation practice along with reading A Course in Miracles.

So to become balanced and grounded I'm going to try and reintroduce some of these aspects of spiritual practice back into my life. But I'm prepared to let it go again if it starts to feel consuming again. I think the key for me will be to keep my practice much more private than I have done in the past. I need something for me.

Thanks for reading, hopefully ill be updating you soon.

Dawn xxx