Saturday, 29 March 2014
Brewing Up Acceptance with Baba Yaga
Today I woke up feeling very grouchy and I knew I needed to do something to shake it off, so I headed off with Baba Yaga for a brew in an ancient forest. As part of my personal magickal development I am a member of the Soul Path Tribe (I've spoken about it before and you can click the link in the sidebar to discover more and sign up yourself), and each month we work with a specific Goddess. March was all about Baba Yaga and taking risks in our life.
For me, March has been a topsy turvy, higgledy piggledy month because I found myself really not wanting to settle anymore for less than I deserve. I discovered that I wanted, desired and deserved more. So I began a mental life clearing by making decisions on what I was no longer going to accept in my life, which has had it's moments of "gloom and doom". I actually detest those moments in my life when I feel sorry for myself and I seriously get on my own nerves in a big way.
Anyway, going back to today, I was met in meditation by a Fox who guided me through the ancient forest until I reached Baba Yaga's hut. When I saw this hut dancing around on it's chicken legs I couldn't help but giggle. The freedom I felt there was mixed for me, because although I felt the peace in the location, I didn't feel at peace within myself. I was still too uptight and pissed off to be honest. Well, Baba Yaga came flying towards me not on her broom but in her Mortar and Pestle. It was actually one of the most wonderfully magickal moments I have ever witnessed in meditation. Out she popped and into her hut she went.
I found a log outside to sit on, and just watched the hut feeling some sense of calm within. Then Baba Yaga came out with two cups of tea, and she handed me one. When I drank it, it tasted like lemon and ginger tea and I felt a wave of emotion come over me and my shoulders relaxed and then, right there in that moment, I wasn't sipping tea with an old hag, or a witch with a reputation, I was sipping Lemon and Ginger tea with a Grandmother Guide/Goddess. There was a gift in the tea and Baba Yaga brewed it with immense intuition as to what I really needed : Acceptance.
It dawned upon me that for a few years now, I haven't accepted myself much. I've tolerated myself and my life, but accepting has been a HUGE NO NO. I have regrets as does a lot of us, I regret allowing myself to give up on my biggest dream of becoming an accountant, but I don't accept that I allowed it to happen. I regret sometimes becoming a life coach, because I feel that everyone assumes I have everything sorted and switched on and live in "super perfect world" which I don't and no one ever will, but I haven't accepted that I'm a life coach - part of me regrets becoming one because... well... it's in fashion right now to be a life coach and when something becomes TOO popular, it becomes a piss take. Another thing I regret is allowing myself to become too close and open with people in my life in the past because that sharing my weaknesses became ammunition for them as those relationships fled apart, and I also regret being so afraid of being burnt/hurt/stabbed in the back again that I closed up all my barriers and am really guarded about what I share and how much I share and when exactly I share - if I do at all. And those regrets and hurts, well I haven't accepted them either - not fully. Forgive? Yes, but forget and accept? I'm not there yet 100%, but that's OK because I accept where I am right now, and I accept that I hold the power within me to move forward in whatever direction I choose.
So Baba Yaga brewed up some "ACCEPTANCE" for me and I sipped it and embraced it all and she told me a special message to help me through. At the moment, I'm not quite what direction I will take with my being a life coach, I know my other directions and I know that in the coming month as I work with Lilith, my authenticity will most certainly shine through.
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